Girlfriend Quotes

Gian Luigi Polidoro and his girlfriend had written this script, it was an American comedy, and they decided I was the guy to play the part. I was young, they offered me the lead in the film, and I said, “Sure, I’ll do it.” And I’m telling you, there is a movie waiting to be made about the making of a movie like that, particularly at that time in New York. I mean, we shot all over the streets of New York without permits. We would literally grab a shot and run. But Rent Control… I think the total cost was $100,000, and to this director’s credit, I think it looks like $200,000.

I have to say, though, that somebody pointed out to me on YouTube that Conan O’Brien was being interviewed, and he was talking about how, oddly enough, he went to see that movie [South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut ] in Hawaii with his girlfriend or wife or whoever, and he didn’t even realize his character was in it. But there he was, and he said, “This voice comes out of me, and I’m thinking, ‘That’s not me! Who is that? That doesn’t even sound like me!’

Basically what my mom told me – I was extremely shy, I didn’t have any girlfriends ’til I was 21 – my mom would see me suffering and tell me, “Just focus on your school, study very hard, and some day you will be successful and you can use all the resources that you have to a dating advantage.” Ultimately, I took that advice and turned it into dating sites.

For a while last summer I was depressed because nothing was happening. It got to the point where people like me were getting films, so I decided to focus on stand-up. It kind of saved my life. I hate to be that dramatic, but I got a girlfriend and refocused my life on being more real and living a regular life rather than pursuing this other false goal of television and movie stardom.

I am a serial monogamist of sorts, and have been with my girlfriend for almost four years. In imagining my brain back to worlds where I might be around someone other sexed in that way and not know them that well, speaking out loud almost seems like requiring of demon language, or money spurting.