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Benjamin Alire Saenz

I’m an ex-Catholic priest. I have such a complex relationship to Catholicism. On the one hand, if I called myself a Catholic it would have to be a very unorthodox one, as I just don’t believe all of the teachings of the Church. But on the other hand, I’m an educated man because the Catholic Church educated me. It gave me something that is really important to me. So I always think about my faith. I always have it, and sometimes I can’t talk about it, and sometimes I can. I am like an adolescent in that way. Teens are asking questions: who is God and what does it mean to have faith?

“I’m an ex-Catholic priest. I have such a complex relationship to … Read More

It’s a complex thing when you’re writing a novel, because so much of it is conscious and planned and deliberate, and so much of it is not, and it has to be a dance between the conscious and the unconscious. I bring my best instincts to my work. For instance – and I come by this naturally, or I think I do – I am a very good judge of character.

“It’s a complex thing when you’re writing a novel, because so … Read More

You are thirst and thirst is all I know

“You are thirst and thirst is all I know” Benjamin … Read More

We have this huge discourse on family in this country, but no one deconstructs it the same way. People talk about “the American family.” The right wing has this thing – Focus on the Family. What the hell is that? I don’t want to just discuss the issues – I want family to be a real part of the character of the novels I write, and I don’t like to write things that feel like issue books.

“We have this huge discourse on family in this country, but … Read More

But love was always something heavy for me. Something I had to carry.

“But love was always something heavy for me. Something I had … Read More

Absent parents aren’t abusive per se. They’re neglectful. They love in a very imperfect way. There are parents like that, and they do love their daughters and sons, but they’re not parents in the way that we might think of it.

“Absent parents aren’t abusive per se. They’re neglectful. They love in … Read More

Why do we smile? Why do we laugh? Why do we feel alone? Why are we sad and confused? Why do we read poetry? Why do we cry when we see a painting? Why is there a riot in the heart when we love? Why do we feel shame? What is that thing in the pit of your stomach called desire?

“Why do we smile? Why do we laugh? Why do we … Read More

Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder.

“Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm … Read More

For a moment, I thought of the word happy and it was a word that just, well, it felt like it was visiting me. I knew it wouldn’t last for very long and I’d be sad again and then it would be worse because it’s one thing to be sad and it’s another thing to be sad once you’ve been happy. Being sad after you’ve been happy is the worst thing in the world.

“For a moment, I thought of the word happy and it … Read More

I wondered about the science of storms and how sometimes it seemed that a storm wanted to break the world and how the world refused to break.

“I wondered about the science of storms and how sometimes it … Read More

I wondered if my smile was as big as hers. Maybe as big. But not as beautiful.

“I wondered if my smile was as big as hers. Maybe … Read More

I wondered what that was like, to hold someone’s hand. I bet you could sometimes find all of the mysteries of the universe in someone’s hand.

“I wondered what that was like, to hold someone’s hand. I … Read More

Mostly, I think people are fake. Well, what do you expect? The fake world we live in conspires to make us all fakes.

“Mostly, I think people are fake. Well, what do you expect? … Read More

I got to thinking that poems were like people. Some people you got right off the bat. Some people you just didn’t get–and never would get.

“I got to thinking that poems were like people. Some people … Read More

If you want to be a writer, you don’t want to live in a comfortable place.

“If you want to be a writer, you don’t want to … Read More

I think writing books is a way for me to work out certain issues. I write about what matters to me, always.

“I think writing books is a way for me to work … Read More

I do that with all of my characters. They have one of the flaws I have, and I zero in on that flaw.

“I do that with all of my characters. They have one … Read More

The heart can get really cold if all you’ve known is winter.

“The heart can get really cold if all you’ve known is … Read More

Young men and women come of age when they look at their parents and see them not only as their parents but as people. They gain a lot of compassion, and it’s easier to accept their flaws.

“Young men and women come of age when they look at … Read More

Summer was here again. Summer, summer, summer. I loved and hated summers. Summers had a logic all their own and they always brought something out in me. Summer was supposed to be about freedom and youth and no school and possibilities and adventure and exploration. Summer was a book of hope. That’s why I loved and hated summers. Because they made me want to believe.

“Summer was here again. Summer, summer, summer. I loved and hated … Read More

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