You know your getting older when you lay in bed til 10am and think to yourself god I just wasted half the day. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties…welcome to my world. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
I go “I just want a cup of black coffee.” She goes “Do you want to try a biscotti? They’re from Italy and they’re considered a delicacy.” Have you ever eaten one of these things? It tastes like a burned cookie. Where I’m from, that’s considered a mistake. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
To all companies please stop using Xmas songs and inserting your own lyrics. Write your own music. I am boycotting you until you stop. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Welcome to my garage. This is where I go to get away from the Honey-Do list. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you something: I know soy beans are good for a lot of things. Let’s stay out of the bacon market! It says It looks and tastes like real bacon! No it doesn’t! It tastes like somebody bacon-flavored a turd, that’s what it tastes like! Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Just when I think the human race has been lost to the “what about me” people. I see the best we have to offer helping others. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Ladies, you wake up tomorrow and the newspaper reads Scientists have discovered a way for men to experience childbirth. That would be awesome. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
I was a dork hunter. That’s hard to do. I fell out of a tree. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
If your mother still drives you to school, you are not a gangster, pull your pants up! Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
I swear to you, I am the cheapest drunk on the planet. It takes nothing to get me loopy and doing stupid stuff. Yeah. Some of you like that? Well… like riding an electric floor buffer for a shot of tequila. Did it! Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
I just realized that with the invention of the iPhone and others you now get to see the top of people’s heads. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
I’d love to be a woman for one day of my life… God… I would be drunk with power. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he’s like “there’s a golf shot. That’s a golf shot.” Well of course it’s a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don’t see Gretzky skating around going “there’s a hockey shot, that’s a hockey shot.” Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Remember: Greed is a bad color on a person. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
If you thought Stairway to Heaven was a long song, dear god you should listen to it played on a lute. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
I believe that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach. It’s a little further south. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
