Drunk Quotes

There’s been times when I’ve been in really tough shape at the top of the course. Talk about a hard challenge right there. I mean, if you ever tried to ski when you’re wasted, it’s not easy. Try and ski a slalom when … you hit a gate less than every one a second, so it’s risky, you know. You’re putting your life at risk there. It’s like driving drunk only there’s no rules about it in ski racing.

Coffee in Brazil is always made fresh and, except at breakfast time, drunk jet black from demitasses first filled almost to the brim with the characteristic moist, soft coffee sugar of the country, which melts five times as fast as our hard granulated. For breakfast larger cups are used, and they’re more than half filled with cream. This cafe con leite doesn’t re-quire so much sugar as cafe preto-black coffee.

H. L Mencken’s Dictionary of the American Language supplies a long list of slang terms for being drunk, but the Irish are no slouches, either. They’re spannered, rat-arsed, cabbaged, and hammered; ruined, legless, scorched, and blottoed; or simply trolleyed or sloshed. In Kerry, you’re said to be flamin’; in Waterford, you’re in the horrors; and in Cavan, you’ve gone baloobas, a tough one to wrap your tongue around if you ARE baloobas. In Donegal, you’re steamin’, while the afflicted in Limerick are out of their tree.

If you just warn people, they often simply ignore you. But if you ask them a question, then they have to think about it. And once they start to think about the consequences, they almost always calm down. Unless they’re drunk, of course. Or stoned. Or aged between fourteen and twenty-one. Or Glaswegian.

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