I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, ‘Whoa, I’m way too high!’ Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar – I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that’s why we have two parties Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Audiences always love the baddies. Especially these ones that are so witty and charming and outrageously devious – everything you’re not supposed to be. I think it speaks to the basic, primal nature in us. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
My philosophy towards life is to enjoy it to the fullest and have fun. I am one of those ‘laugh-out-loud’ kinds. I am quirky, yet witty. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here? Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes! Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. Help us to share this great article. Your friends will appreciate it! 0share Facebook0 Twitter0 Pinterest0 LinkedIn0 Flipboard Tumblr0 Mix